Should a woman be smart?

I’m not smart, but I get by. I work full time as a computer system administrator. I write fiction. I’m married and have two boys.

My life is wonderful in many ways, although I am not smart.

• I feel like a pawn working in the technology field.
• I wrestle with my demons and/or the lack of it when I write fiction.
• My boys wrap me around their little fingers.

When I was younger, I once thought I was bright, but I was ignorant. I didn’t have a job, a family or children. All I had was free time, daydreams and youthful ego. Over the years I’ve had the counsel from wise people.

When I was in elementary school, Dad said, “A woman shouldn’t be too smart. A smart woman is an oddity.” But when I had the second place for the midterm exams, he felt he lost face; his disappointment has haunted me to this day.

My colleague had a baby girl. She said, “My daughter shouldn’t be smart, she should be lovable and find a good husband.” She was an engineer with an MS degree, and her husband was a university professor. How dumb could her daughter be?

My relative was worried about her 23-year-old daughter who graduated from the MIT with a BS in chemistry. “When will she find a man and settle down? A career isn’t important to a woman.” Why did she spend $160,000 on her daughter’s college tuition?

A male friend told me 98% of affluent Chinese businessmen cheated on their wives. He went on cheerfully, “A woman shouldn’t be smart. She only needs to find a good man.” From the rest 2% or from the outer space?

Like most people I don’t have opinions on this matter. Intelligence is a naturally endowed gift, like one’s height, hair color or sexual orientation. If being gay is not of one’s choice, why should being smart be considered a personality?

I’ll never tell my boys, “be smart” or “be good-looking” because I gave them the intelligence and physical appearances. They can achieve professional competence through education. My ambition is that they shall grow up to become honest, courageous men with moral integrity.

You see, I’m not smart.